I was scrolling through Snapchat this morning, as I normally do, when I came across a snap from Raul Villacis – Mark's coach from The Next Level Experience – where he said something that I can't get out of my head:
"There is ZERO return on investment on fear."
Now, Raul was talking in the context of money and investments, but really – how true is this across the board? How often are we operating out of a place of fear and inaction and expecting some sort of return?
The Fear of Asking the Question
For most of my life, I've been the "behind-the-scenes" girl. I get a lot of energy from planning the details, juggling lots of projects, making sure things go off without a hitch. I'm the organizer. The executer. The person you call in when you need to "get shit done". I'm fully aware that that's what I'm good at and what I get really excited to do.
But sometimes, I feel a little painted into a box of what I'm capable of and I start telling this other story, "I'm a detail person – not a people person."
During the last few months of working for Mark, though, I started to have this crazy idea – what if I could coach? I like helping people. I've had a great experience working myself through the surviving to thriving process. I feel a strong connection with others (like me) who fall into this trap of perfectionism and meeting expectations. I think I could do some good.
But that's definitely outside my box. "I'm a detail person – not a people person."
Fast forward to this past week where I was with a bunch of other coaches and trainers and I expressed this desire to coach, but also this fear – what if I'm not good at it? What if I should just keep my head down and keep doing what I know I'm good at? "Maybe it's true that I'm a detail person, and not a people person."
Thankfully, they pushed me to do one simple thing: ask the question. Ask Mark what he would think of me coaching.
So I did.
The result? Verbatim from Mark: "Amanda, I didn't even know you had an interest in coaching! You'd be phenomenal at it! We'll put you in the line-up right away."
Wait...what?! It was that easy? I've been stressing myself out over this?!
My fear of even asking for the opportunity to coach was truly the only thing keeping me from experiencing something new, from expanding my skills, from getting the opportunity to help others the way Mark helped me. I painted my own box. I created this one – completely false – story in my head. And doing the one incredibly scary thing – asking the question – was all that was needed to get out of the box, to rewrite the story.
There is no ROI on fear.
Pain, Fear, Opportunity
We often tell our clients that people only change for one of three reasons: pain, fear or opportunity.
It hurts too much not to change.
I'm too afraid of what will happen if I don't change.
The opportunity in front of me is too big to ignore any longer.
Ironically, the inverse of these same three statements is what keep us exactly where we are:
It doesn't hurt enough to change.
I'm not afraid of the consequences enough to change.
The opportunity in front of me isn't big enough to change.
You can fall into any – or all – of these buckets at any given time, but pretty often fear is a component. The likelihood is high that fear is leading to a story you're telling yourself that "I can't" or "It's fine as-is" or "Something bad will happen if I do X." The question is – how accurate is that story?
Fear is a powerful motivator. It can also be crippling if you let it take control. But what return on investment are you looking for? Is it at work, with your family, in the community, in your connection to God, in your body? If you want the return, you have to put in the work and rewrite the story in your head.
There is no ROI on fear.
If you're interested in learning more about coaching and some of the reasons I found it so helpful (long before working at MJST!), download the free one pager by clicking the button below!